Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Tru Fiction

I'm at another redbrick loft party---this time in Zürich.

Sitting on a great velvet sofa with a wrapped foot propped on a big plastic ball. "A helluva hullaballoon" I say to the misplaced old man sitting next to me. He looks over at me slowly and then slumps forward and begins nodding his head in slow affirmation.

G, a former student, approaches me with his size 9 head and a leotarded entourage of feline dancing girls. He says "I'm really and Truly Capote, so go lightly...hahaha!...and as soon as I get his punch-line, a rim-shot with accompanying laugh track has everyone around me getting swept up in his mesmerizing party persona.

Little balloons, Lawrence Welk bubbles and confetti rise and fall in opposite directions like a great Broadway homecoming celebration. I'm wondering how G has attained this savoir faire. And where did he acquire his gumbo patois? Wondering why such a small brain needs such a big head. Questions.

Harper Lee (Keener from the film) is calm and measured and telling me the real story about "This here G's the one who manipulated Perry Smith's dreams---hypnotized him so he'd enter the Clutter home. That way he'd have his true fiction and become the sort of person his father feared. It's like you and your own fake father". This last remark taps the memory of some long-ago fictional father I'd fashioned out of Mr. Green Jeans from Captain Kangaroo. How could she possibly know? I'm wondering if this fictional father of mine might have been the real Mr. Clutter who was murdered in Kansas. I'm not certain whether the murdered family was Truman's or mine.

And now I'm brooding about Captain Kangaroo and that terrifying Dancing Bear who used to haunt my dreams with its terrible eyes. Was it a he or a she? Who was inside?

The fake Truman (G) saunters over with a wry smile and a tray full of drinks and makes a pun about my injured foot: "What a lovely supporting cast! May I sprinkle some fairy dust on it?" He pulls out a fancy felt pen and gestures calligraphically in the air and says "Now, where do I put my autograph?"


Blogger floots said...

simulacrum parental figures
dancing bears
a misplaced old man
how can i not like it
i think (perhaps like you)
that i do not always know
what is going on
i feel at home
in a strange place
(stranger in a strange land)
and i love it

11:59 AM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

Your injured foot is enjoying a cameo appearance in yet another reverie! I have never been to a loft party but it sounds as if one gets to meet the most interesting people at them.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

Your dreams are always worth the wait! This one pulls us even closer toward the magical clarity you've been experiencing.

I love the rim shot! There are times when I could really use one in the waking world.

And poor G.

The Harper Lee scene was full of connect-the-dots innuendoes. The fact that the dream character brought into your subconscious state something that meant more to you long ago in the waking world was incredible!

Let me just say that the minute I read about the Dancing Bear from Captain Kangaroo, I went back to fearing that thing again. It was not the most entertaining part of the show for me. (I loved Bunny Rabbit)

The last paragraph is loaded with some very interesting pictures.
dreamy finn, once again, this is just amazing! Your dream is chucked full of very interesting connections. What have you made of all of this? That foot of your is still the star.

Take some insurance out on those dreams of yours. I'd be very sad if they'd dry up.

3:45 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

This gamut of literary giants and midgets, indulging in their perniciously clean orgy of chuckly wit put a wide-old banana smile on my phizzog this Sunday morning.

Thanks Finn - that shaved a few peelings of misery off me.

5:18 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

...i think (perhaps like you)that i do not always know what is going on but somehow i feel at home in a strange place (stranger in a strange land)...

I remember there being a song called "Stranger in a Strange Land" by some long-haired Okie named Leon Russell. He reminded me of Cousin "IT" from "The Addams Family"...with shades. Think it was the Oklahoma weed.

The injured foot in my dreams is really a bum foot in my waking life; no question why it's been playing a starring role. Nevertheless, I'll be more than happy to escort the bum right past the stage exit and into the back alley dumpster. I'd be foot-loose and fancy free, I'll tell you. ^^

These dreams would be worth doing just for the sake of your comments. I always appreciate how you look into what I've written and bring up morsels of thought
that make me go back and take a look.

I watched the film "CAPOTE" the night before the dream. Obviously it made a strong impression on me. The Capote character was uncannily like G---so much so that I'm sure my dream had actually begun prior to sleep. Something that I'm paying keen attention to is the prelude to my dreams---in other words, what goes on in my mind prior to sleep. Here I had a strong triumvirate with the Capote, In Cold Blood (which I'd read twice) as well as G.

What confounds me is Captain Kangaroo and Co. That and the fact that I've been experiencing "off-stage" sound bites (which actually startle me in my dreams).

Thanks for your generosity, Neetee. I blog because of thee. ^¿^

Phizzog...hat a great Blog title that would be, with such an array of letters.
A wide banana smile on a phizzog...now that's what I call the "Sunday Funnies".

I'm always glad to peel any misery from your banana.

8:18 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

RUKsak again I meant "what a great Blog title.." and not "hat". Sunday morning klutzery.

8:21 AM  
Blogger floots said...

don't know the leon russell song
i know it as a robert heinlein novel
thanks for looking in on my bear alter ego
you go and have a quiet lie-down
with ursula now
(does she have a thermostat)

9:40 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Ah, yes. Robert Heinlein. Kipling on Mars. (A fine place to get a better view of Ursa l'undress')
I don't know about a thermostat, but I do have a thermometer and a turkey baster handy.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

I think Capote really visited you in this dream. I'm so envious...

4:23 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

He really needed dental work.

6:04 PM  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

You get to schmooze with so many celebrities!

9:45 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Yes you too can schmooze with your favorite celebrity---call 1-800 G-R-O-U-P-I-E now!

7:17 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

i want an entourage of leopard skinned leotard glad dancing girls.
gimme gimme gimme.

love this pun/play...

"What a lovely supporting cast! May I sprinkle some fairy dust on it?"

you my friend can continue to spread fairy dusy where you will. you get my vote!

3:36 PM  
Blogger karma said...

very well told, honey! really enjoyed this one

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anil said...

It felt like a Capote made by an indie director. A different perspective to make things that little strange and even a bit spooky...liked reading this...made me revisit the film in my mind!

5:22 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Ah Capote... I think I've been having vivid dreams that might be of interest to you... They are rich and dripping with color and emotion bizzare images like your pulsing sock mine are of thawing cheeks of the dead and that is only one image if it can be imagined.

2:50 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Wondering if you've seen the film, C.J.
I'd have to say I was impressed since it impacted my dream. I had been re-imagining Capote after I left the cinema; began thinking about how uncannily his voice and mannerisms were like "G". Re-imagined G as Capote and on it went till it became quite sticky and glued itself to the walls of my cerebral chamber.

How do our dreams become "sticky"? Why do some ideas become dream theatre while others simply play out in our waking mind? Can our dreams cross over into the mental zone of other sleepers?

Nagging questions for anyone who'd like to have a go:

What do cats dream about? Food? Sex? Drugs? Rock and Roll? Mice? Pussies? Yarn? Dust bunnies? Their people pets? Hairballs? Birds? Mice? Trees? Pussies? Kitty Queen beef...kidney...chicken?

What do dogs dream about? Food? Sex? Drugs? Rock and Roll? Bones? Pussies? Pooping? Ball-licking? Chasing frisbees? Fire hydrants? Leg-humping? His Master's Voice? Old RCA recordings?


Haven't heard from you in ages old chap. So you've seen the film? Have you ever read "In Cold Blood?" I can't imagine the impact it had on rural communities everywhere. It is chilling in the extreme. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Yoiks! What a repulsive idea---makes the cooties run all over me.
I really appreciate the nauseating imagery---I'm gonna go throw up.

5:36 AM  
Blogger floots said...

cheers (on an unexpectedly snowy morning)
thanks for looking in
always appreciated

8:43 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

You are welcome my good man

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Tantric Mutt said...

When the sun comes up in the morning, do you get depressed? I would if I could have dreams this vivid.

4:31 AM  
Blogger Maddy said...

...this little foot really
gets around - and Harper Lee
is where I get stuck in this-
capote-blech! compared to her-
my favorite author!
Now maybe Lolita could be
a dancing girl and Nabokov
the bear - you might be
miffed but your writing reminds
me of Nabokov.

Love your writing. Witty
and ethereal and even more
brilliant each time!

6:36 AM  
Blogger boulies said...

My Dear Finny, I had to make a couple of google searches for this one. Didn't see the Capote film yet, but read, "In Cold Blood" so I finally knitted it all together. Had to be wide awake for this one. Just the recall to the Clutter home massacre makes this dream; along with your seemingly telepathic Harper Lee and THAT FOOT, feel creepy and wierd. I would say this was a nightmare. Of course it was with that dancing bear thrown into the mix. Your writing is always so magical. This one was a real adventure packed into a short space. Once again, really great!

8:18 PM  
Blogger rgmb said...

Mr. Green Jeans dreams about all the things cats and dogs dream about, at least my memory of him tells me that's probably the case. Let's see I was maybe two when I last saw him......

10:31 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

Odd how I think I've taken the show on board, yet somehow detail still eluded me? Did you slip that "leotarded entourage of feline dancing girls" in since I last visited? Come on CJ tell me he did!

That bum foot sounds like a hole in the head and a pain in the ass. But thankfully it's not keeping you awake at night ;-)

11:33 PM  
Blogger Dr. Charles said...

amazing. i think the party setting works perfectly for bizarre dreams. the first two stanzas are amazing, and really evoke that pretentious feel i hate about forced social gatherings. i'd like to read your description of a real party (ie waking) sometime.

10:24 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Who named you, Mom or Dad?

Nabakov could write circles around me in his sleep. I am
more than surprised that my nocturnal ditties put you in mind of him. Whew.
Pssst...Could I have some of whatever it is you're taking? ^^

Some of my dreams open up ancient chapters from my past and shake it with the present---
this one being a particularly strong instance.

It quite often feels as though the dreams take place in some sort of mental studio where different chock-a-bloc stage sets
converge, each one assembled from an "era" and my mind fashioning odd-ball assemblages out of the detritus.

And lately I've been wondering what effect the Internet has on dreams. It's an interesting subject for a thesis.

I always look forward to your thoughtful and generous comments.

As my family only had a black and white t.v. when I watched Captain Kangaroo, I always wondered if Mr. Green Jeans' pants were really green. Also, he always seemed to be wearing overalls.

The scary thing was when he disappeared off stage with Dancing Bear in tow. Where did they go? And what about Bunny Rabbit,
who came up from behind Captain Kangaroo's desk? Questions.

No additives in this dream, Virgo. Nothing has been edited since I pressed publish. Wholesome goodness hacked up with a chain saw and baked to a shrivelled-up concoction is what this is, has been and always will be.

Remember P.V, the more things stay the same, the more they change. Stare at C H A N G E for an illustration.

The real foot is getting better. As I mentioned to someone else earlier, the old hoof had been giving me a lot of grief. Pain has a way of insinuating itself into the mindscape.

Modern adults often wind up making asses of themselves at parties. It seems only littly children know how to go about it. They don't sit around with wine glasses in hand scrutinizing each other's make-up or added girth while making smiling faces.

The Romans on the other hand...

7:40 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

although i love film i haven't watched much for a long, long while. may have seen it but can't, if i'm to be honest, remember.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Maddy said...

...i'm high on love, even when
i'm not.

10:32 PM  
Blogger boulies said...

Finny, Yah, that's an interesting question, the effect of the internet on dreams. There has to be some connection. Maybe we can find the answer by doing a google search. PS. check out cocaines comments on his blog and see if you can figure out the artist he saw on tv. He loved the paintings but forgot the artists name. Check it out if you get a chance.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anil said...

Sorry for the late reply...yeah, unfortunately not finding enough time to read my favorite blogs these days...yes, I've seen the film. I had read In Cold Blood many years back (it is one of my favorites) although I was ignorant about what Capote went thru to write it. So the film gave me a much needed backgrnd to look at the book again through Capote's eyes.

11:00 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

You don't need to watch any films since you are so reel.

Sounds like you've got enough to spare. Care to send me a bottle?

I'll head on over to C.J.'s place right now.

9:40 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

I am also in a bit of a blog bind---up to my gills in bills and thrills that are not all good. My life has been "Cluttered".

10:16 AM  
Blogger Maddy said...

i have lots of love to spare
it is true!

5:16 PM  
Anonymous cooper said...

Like a written Dali only slightly clearer.

I saw some old Captain Kangaroo once and it alone was enough to instigate a slight bit of fearful adrenalin add to that the rest and it becomes a more distorted unclear fear.

Makes me glad I don't dream or at least don't remember them.

6:50 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

I feel it rubbing off

Oh you dream, alright---you dream every night. As memory is selective, we do with them what we will.

9:38 PM  
Blogger camera shy said...

go lightly indeed


oddly familiar

3:21 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

missing you already fella.
would love to help you with those bills but hey, i've got to go sort some bills out for my eldest AND my own!!!

2:35 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

I'll be back when my real-life nightmare is over.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

You can't write with a nightmare foot at the end of your leg. We all know that and respect it. I am hobbled by my limping mind but the result is the same. Dreaming of you dreaming mate.

I stared at the word CHANGE and nothing happened. It happened while I was looking away, I think that might have been your point.

CJ ~ what say we pop by to keep an eye on the old/young rascal? ;-)

11:02 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Sorry I've been so negligent with the dream-jottings and drive-by commentary of late, but I've been under a rolling set of dark clouds that have me ducking for both emotional and physical cover. I'm alright though---survival is my middle name---and will be back before you can say "Wake up Finn, you've been having a nightmare".

7:14 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

I know the weight of a thunderous sky. Take your time and keep your cover. Survival of the wit-est in this case ;-)

11:45 AM  
Blogger boulies said...

Sweet Finney, Love you, miss you, waiting patiently for your return. Till then, sweet dreams my dear friend. Boulies

9:17 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Yes you do know "The Weight", my friend. I take solace in knowing you know. "Empathy" is what I've always wanted on my epitaph. But not just yet.

Miss you too Boulies. Although I sometimes wish I weren't restricted to electronic tethers, I am grateful that I have the luxury of making contact within a moment's notice. It's miraculous, really.

Wish I could be in Ventura right now, fixing on that indelible image of Santa Cruz Island silhouetted against that vast and mercurial Pacific. It's one of those psychedelic Daguerre-type tableaux that haunt me like a ghost.

Spring is here. It is the time of year in when the crepuscular, dusky amber glow saturates every surface and tunes me in to what the Chumash knew.
can make

6:45 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Yes you do know "The Weight", my friend. I take solace in knowing you know. "Empathy" is what I've always wanted on my epitaph. But not just yet.

Miss you too Boulies. Although I sometimes wish I weren't restricted to electronic tethers, I am grateful that I have the luxury of making contact within a moment's notice. It's miraculous, really.

Wish I could be in Ventura right now, fixing on that indelible image of Santa Cruz Island silhouetted against that vast and mercurial Pacific. It's one of those psychedelic Daguerre-type tableaux that haunt me like a ghost.

Spring is here. It is the time of year in when the crepuscular, dusky amber glow saturates every surface and tunes me in to what the Chumash knew.

7:13 PM  
Blogger boulies said...

beautiful words!

7:18 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

PV>>>Good idea mate. Eyes will be kept firmly on the dream teller.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Yey the return of the foot, is the autograph still there?

9:56 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...


No need, since I've finally shrugged off the cackling IMP that's been riding on my back these past weeks. I told him to pay you and Virgo a visit and hasten back with a full and detailed report.

No, it was written in vanishing ink, I'm afraid.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

What did the IMP say Finn. Come on don't tease, tell me!

I'm busy and intellectually engaged for the first time in a while. I need a break from blog-hopping but I'm not vanishing!

8:24 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

You have your answer in my recent post.

Don't you now disappear young man.

You are always involved intellectually. It is your nature.

10:06 PM  
Blogger GEL said...

Fascinating Finn!
Like Floots I thought of the novel Stranger in a Strange Land.

5:21 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...


7:16 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Interesting. I've definitely got to check it out now.

Sue Hardy-Dawson
shuck | sh ək| noun 1 an outer covering such as a husk or pod, esp. the husk of an ear of corn. • the shell of an oyster or clam. • the integument of certain insect pupae or larvae. 2 informal a person or thing regarded as worthless or contemptible : William didn't dig the idea at all and said it was a shuck. exclamation ( shucks) informal used to express surprise, regret, irritation, or, in response to praise, self-deprecation : “Thank you for getting it.” “Oh, shucks, it was nothing.” See also aw-shucks . verb [ trans. ] 1 remove the shucks from corn or shellfish : shuck and drain the oysters. • informal take off (a garment) : she shucked off her nightdress and started dressing. • informal abandon; get rid of : the regime's ability to shuck off its totalitarian characteristics. 2 informal cause (someone) to believe something that is not true; fool or tease. DERIVATIVES shucker noun ORIGIN late 17th cent.: of unknown origin.

3:18 PM  

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