Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Argyle Dream (That Side Part 2)


"One sometimes realizes, after the event, that one's consciousness has caught something unexpected on its outer edge, as though the two things had somehow got superimposed".
~ Kenzaburo Oe

The white floor and swollen undulating hump forms a large and horizontal abstract eye. Is this a butcher's...a hospital...a morgue? The combination of clinical, hard-edged sauberkeit of the space coupled with the damaged flesh makes my sense of nakedness palpable.

But then I'm laughing up my sleeve about "that darned sockeye". My internal giggling about the pun triggers television canned laughter in the antechamber. I'm not sure whether I should be amusing myself or the others (?) beyond the two-way mirror. My sense of security feels intertwined with this thought.

The salesman's voice returns through the speakers---this time with an urbane tone. "We appreciate a mind like yours, sir. "You are the preferred sort of customer" We just need to ask you a few questions...would you mind our mind survey?"

More laughter all around---I feel as if this were a stage---as if I were being watched by a very large audience whose feed were being transmitted through a surveillance camera. Have they been watching everything all along? Is this some sort of reality t.v.? I don't detect any mounted cameras.

But what about the transformation of the Republican into posh and understated gent? He's the same man who had earlier threatened me. A mean and nasty hick.

Me ~ "Were you acting for reasons having to do with selling off all the farm equipment and dealing with surly customers?" "I know farmers everywhere are being devoured by agribusiness goliaths".

A sudden biblical breakage---renting through a narrow isthmus and inundating the Aborginal European Mud People and their sad flocks of bleating sheep. I see hoards of field-hollering sharecroppers, un-landed and unforgiven trailer trash with everyone trying to stave off Simon Legrees who'd come to make manifest their destiny---to up the land-snatching, speculating ante. They came to kill the ancient souls of those who didn't know the concept of a fence. Kill their souls. Kill their soles. Filetted soles. And I reflect on moccasins, Rubber Soul, rubber feet and that infernal eyesac.

The man doesn't answer me, and so I rant something to the effect of "John Barleycorn and his angry and drunken square-dancing is like a lost coyote. He's not Mr. Blues who has helped stave off heartless shits like yourself who've never even had a soul to sell to the Devil!" I let out a bigger torrent of incomprehensible ravings and in the end am breathless and confused. A silence follows where I realise everything I cherish might be taken; that he'll "get away with it" if I don't change tactics.

Me ~ "Was it me or you who made everything disappear earlier? What about the darned sockeye in the middle of the floor?" "Will you play a fair game here and answer me with honesty?"

Man ~ "You need to look more closely at your mind".

Me ~ "Is that lumpy thing my mind looking at me?"

Man ~ "Something like that. It's known as Past Judgement".

Me ~ "You mean there's something in my past it wants to clarify, or something it wants to judge?"

Man ~ "To judge"

Me ~ "So what do I do?"

Man ~ "Examine it up close and peel it back" "You must confront whatever it is that emerges"


End of Argyle Dream (That Side Part 2)

Go to Argyle Dream (The Other Side)

38 Comments:

Blogger floots said...

that ending (as well as being good suspense) is stomach-emptying
all that talk of minds sacs
and damaged flesh meant that "peeling back" was delightfully graphic
do i know what any of it means
not sure
(but could could come up with psychobabble if there was money)
does it matter
no
i just love watching this world
(but i'm glad i'm not the protagonist)
great stuff

thanks for your recent visit
glad you liked pic/poem
(my daughter is now a hundred and three) :)

7:11 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

floots
If you knew what any of this stuff meant, I'd hire you. No need for psychobabble, since there is no money.

The last part is much shorter than the other three, but altogether ookier. I almost finished this off today, but felt the peeling back expectancy was a good place switch off.

Thanks for the visit and your shared pictographic visions, both old and new. Pssssst...are you a grandfather yet?

7:43 PM  
Blogger s&m said...

This dream reminds me of the episode of Star Trek: TNG where Riker puts on the play about the man in the asylum, then it turns out the play is real...

9:01 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

s&m
Never seen much of Star Trek, but that episode sounds familiar. Thanks for stopping by.

9:47 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

dreamy finn This is the most fascinating coded secretive dream that I've read from you.

It's of high consciousness and dances on the tip of the tongue as well as the frontal lobe as to what it could mean but gets away clean.

It's v-e-r-y intense! I almost yelled at the end, "To hell with what's under the darned sockeye! Don't pick it up! find out what it means in another life!"

Thank goodness it's a dream. Or is it? Do you check your room in the morning to see if it's the way you left it when you went off to bed? Just a thought.
:)
Excellently otherworldly.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

on a personal note i'd rather not be peeled back but hey.
camera eyes?
too many in the high street.
maybe a fear of 'big brother'. (orwell not tv variant).
spooky and ooky.
tres spooky.
more than scary and much more so than previous 1 & 2.
time to wake up finn?
oh, i think so.
people sitting awaiting to pass judgement?
what have you done you bad, bad boy?

11:05 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Ominous is the word for me this time - but I could be at a loss. Anyway, this one made me feel like I was wrapped in air-mean cotton - in an endearing, claustrophobic kind of way.

One thing I have noticed is that I tend to comment on how your posts 'make me feel' - odd that - I don't think I say that when commenting in other places.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

I think someone already sold the hobbits in the Lord of the rings some of those feet and look what happened to them. Don't Peeeel it Fin I'm too scareed

8:05 PM  
Blogger stella said...

It reminds me very much of satori and the act of looking within oneself and/or the direct experience of the mind... wow, Finn, this post is genius :)

11:34 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

QueenNeetee
Goodness Queeny, that's a comment worthy of its own posting!

I sometimes get the feeling I seek these "things"; that fearful scenarios don't spring up in a passive manner. I wind up in places which, were I on "this side" of the consciousness ledger, would require a "shitload" of Depends®.

If I told you that I've actually dreamt about you, would you run away?


Crack-Smokin' Baby Jesus
Yeah, I've read that London leads the planet in surveillance eyeballs, recording...recording...recording. I've often wondered what happens with this "footage"---wondered if there are surveillance eyeballs watching those who watch us? Are these "all-seeing-occuli" beaming our movements to a place and time where we originate, or where we are headed? Or is it like The Wizard of Oz or Plato's Cave, where consciousness (and a recognition of the shadow's origins) reveals the slight-of-hand and takes us back to ourselves?


RuKsaK
Just curious if you know of Francis Bacon (the painter, not chancellor). While recalling the dream I flashed on some of his blood-encrusted operations locked inside his air-mean and gridded chambers.

"You make me feel so, very happy, I'm so glad you came into my life" ~ Blood, Sweat and Argyle.


Sue Hardy-Dawson
I haven't read Lord of the RIngs, so I don't have a clue to what happened to the Hobbits. I'll have to ask my son when he comes to visit me here at the nursing home.


Stella
You are perceptive indeed, Stella. You are on to it.

By the way, where have you been?

6:15 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Finnegan - Francis Bacon - yes I am a fan. His Triptych was visiting the Hermitage a few years back and I went to see it. I was mesmerised. In fact, I am as inspired by art as I am by other writers when I write myself and Francis Bacon style imagery is something I bear in mind quite often. There are several others who also feature in my brain: Soutine, Hopper, Malevich - to name a few off the top of my head.

11:21 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

RuKsaK
Soutine, Hopper and Malevich are an eclectic toss-together threesome, which naturally intrigues me. Soutine is the least well-known of the bunch, and it is a damned shame. His paintings are viscerally raw and painterly visions that definitely read like hallucinations. I was lucky enough to catch a brilliant exhibition of his work at the L.A. County Museum a number of years ago. I'd always admired his work, but to see a whole show was gutwrenching in the best sense. I could go on and on about the others, but I won't. Another blog, another time. Cheers.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Maddy said...

It's as if you are the
ear and the hearing in this...
I recognize this feeling in
meditation and as well, it
reminds me of John Fowles
"The Magus"

You are beautifully "endowed"
with talent. And that I'm
sure you wouln't change.

Smiles!

8:33 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

coy with the boy might not be enough... we did a little dance again today - thank you for your visits they mean a lot as silly as that sounds.. any boy advice is welcome ;)

1:23 AM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

dreamy finn asked - If I told you that I've actually dreamt about you, would you run away?

Neetee answers - Of course not! I'd only run if you started using that blinking trick. Haha. Other than that, dream on. How many women can say that they were in the dream of a genius?

6:21 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Madelyn
It seems that our senses have a flexibility hard-wired into them for either local adaptation, fight / flight or ecstatic delight.
Haven't read "The Magus", but I will keep it in mind when I head to the local library here in Zürich.
Thanks for the cheritable "endowment", Madelyn. Now I've got my "nightclub" of choice.


Jane
This is not a boy you are talking to. This is Methusela's great-grandaddy's forefather. And if you want OLD sage advice, you need to go here.


Queeny Neetee
I love being called Dreamy Finn by the "Nile Queen". But a genius is way too generous. Some folks think I should be committed; I have no good arguements, really.
By the way Frau Neetee, I've dipped into Thirst and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. As always, I'll hop on the merry-go-round for another dizzying spin.

7:01 AM  
Blogger Pincushion said...

Whats it about peeling and doing bananas not to mention onions, accompanied by a stream of tears..such is life!
I read and reread this, it sure peeled layers of my mind!
Yours (mind) definitely has layers and layers and layers :))

11:22 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Pincushion
Doing bananas is more up Cocaine Baby Jesus' alley.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

Looks like you are setting yourself up to face Judgement Day here Finn. I'm keeping 'em peeled for the next step.

5:14 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

perfect virgo
As I'm not too keen on biblical references, it struck me (in a very odd way) that I'd come to such a standoff scenario. Since I already know the outcome and the whys and whats of this "past judgement", this is a re-run account of the "past future", which is a convoluted notion of tense.

7:56 PM  
Blogger stella said...

finn,

where i've been? hmmm, i've been asking myself the very same questions....much like this dream of yours... :)

2:22 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Ew....................I saw Soutine's Carcass of Beef a long time ago....weirdly it did not repel me as it did some.

Bleating sheep always give me pause though and the bad sad chills. Do epiphanies come in such a way while calling for the peeling back of layers? Do finish up.

5:10 AM  
Blogger boulies said...

So interesting how your dreams have a repeated theme of hideous, freaky, obnoxious people (one way or another) mutating into more sophisticated forms, contradicting your earlier judgement of them. And another repeat is the way these characters hold knowledge which you have yet to find out...important lessons. And now you are being asked to confront the enemy (most likely within yourself) and make friends with it. These are not dreams, they are philosophies yet to be discovered. So, come on and unfold the damn thing on the floor. Let us all have a look see. Maybe something's under there, some universal knowlege for us all to learn from. Or maybe it just another smelly Argyle sock. I'm chomping at the bit to find out.

8:46 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Stella
I guess we could rendezvous in a dream and help each other pry the lid off whatever is hidden.


Alice: In Wonderland or Not
The carcass of beef is a direct descendent of the one Rembrant painted. But the great subtle painting by Titian called "The Flaying of Marsyas" hints at much worse.


Boulies
Interesting what you say about the dreams being undiscovered philosophies. They sometimes do feel that way in the dreams, but when I wake up I'm often in a dime store and the volumes are all throw-away pulps.

The enemy as would-be friend is an interesting notion, since it's the reverse of the gift-bearing Trojan Horse.

Better be careful about the chomping down too hard at the bit---I might need a few spare teeth before this one is over and out.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

been dreaming of queenie have we?
we have camera's over here that capture that kind of footage too.
it's okay queenie. we have the perv dead to rights on our dream times cctv. hell get 5 to 10 for sure.

9:41 PM  
Blogger superflywebpimp said...

dearest fin, you have been chosen as
"le site du jour"
at the paragraph novels...
drop by and see.
http://theparagraphnovels.blogspot.com/

sincerely, superflywebpimp

5:56 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

cocaine jesus christ almighty
5 to 10 with my Queen? Oh goody goody! Lights, cameras, action!

Superflywebpimp
Le site du jour? Moi? I'm standing on my high horse right about now. Tres honored, tres cool! Merci Beaucoup!

8:47 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

CONGRATULATIONS! dreamy finn

I'm telling you, sir superflywebpimp has excellent taste!

7:26 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

queeny
Doesn't he now?

2:04 PM  
Blogger rgmb said...

finnegan, just caught this dream this morning and my you do have doozies.

What are you guilty about? People watching you and looking over your shoulder viewing your every move. You seem to detest the business goliath devouring mankind yet simultaneously might be a partaker to feel such shame?

I just want to know one thing? What do you find induces such vivid and detailed dreams?

(BTW, I can't stay on your site for very long as the patterned sides for some reason make me nauseous, sorry :(--maybe I have epilepsy or something and I'm unaware)

4:01 PM  
Blogger Zataod said...

I also have a slight reaction to the patterns on the side, but I usually read your dreams through the feed at Bloglines.

In terms of the vividness of your dreams, is this through intention? Or because you consistently write them down. Do you ever have vague, dim dreams like the rest of us mortals?

I like the dialogue at the end of your dream. This is the kind of thing I'm striving for in my dream efforts.

4:32 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

rgmb
I have no idea what I'm "guilty" about, as I normally don't harbor such feelings in my waking life (at least not on the surface). I have many other, much more mundane dreams. I used to work hard to write down each one, looking for possible links to my past or future, but to no avail. Now I concentrate on the ooky ones, since they make the writing come out, which is why I do this blog. I spend little time analyzing the whys and hows of things, since I'm not absolutely sure if they originate from my own mind. Sometimes my dreams are so alien and "other" that I'm certain I'm just a dream medium who gets to be in the audience--- a sort of "dream journalist". But then again, there are those that are both alien and personal which are the most disturbing of all.

What induces such vivid and detailed dreams? I've been asked that many times in these comments. Wine at night seems to be a consistent image inducer, but then again, I've had overwhelming dreams while fasting. Go figure.

Hmm, I had no clue that my patterns make people dizzy. I work from a Mac, and so my visual settings are different from Windows people. Maybe I'll ask some others to see what they say. This is the first time anyone's mentioned this.


Zataod
I read blogs through a reader as well. But I do like to check out any images that dovetail with the text.

In terms of vividness, I would have to say that it's fairly intentional because I usually concentrate on a ton of associations before I nod off. I habitually tell myself to "go into it" and "wake up when you're there". It doesn't work as often as I'd like, but lately there seems to have been a breakthrough, where I'm more aware of a certain mental "switch" that allows me to participate more consciously. It seems this more awakened state allows for better recall and more detailed events.

There's always been a lot of dialogue in my dreams. I've simply opted to put this one down as direct (instead of reported) speech.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Zataod said...

Finn -- I see your dreams as a form of written art. It probably makes no difference where they come from. Readers of these dreams will have all different takes on them, mostly dependent on their own internal state.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

You've got to love a dream that comes with an epigram from Kenzaburo Oe--and actually fulfills it.

9:40 PM  
Blogger rgmb said...

I agree with Zataod, it really doesn't matter where they come from since they're so artistically rendered, really quite dramatic and vivid!! And the dialogue is what intrigues me most, these detailed conversations....wow!

9:59 PM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

You know my own serious misgivings on the religious front so take "Judgement Day" in a kind of loose sense -I do!

I'm curious to see how this turns out Finn your reference to tangled tenses makes me think of the quirky "Back to the Future" trilogy. Don't for goodness' sake meet your own self back there or you could disrupt the goddamn space-time continuum!!!

10:07 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Zataod
That is my purpose entirely Zataod. Folks who approach these with linear perpective are usually baffled. I find that a lot of writing can be so perfect that one "gets it" and so it becomes easily discardable.

You have always made really astute observations about my writing. I really appreciate your being here and contributing.

Patry Francis
Well, I'm reading "The Silent Cry" for the 3rd time. The writing is so supple and intense that it feels like I'm hallucinating.

Hope you're feeling better.

rgmb
Most of the dreams I've read don't succeed in grafting the necessary language to convey anything mentally startling. It is clear to me
that the dream space is where "the other" resides. That's why I mentioned not being certain if dreams originate from us. Is the dreamtime when our frequencies are able to tune in those otherworldly frequencies?

Perfect Virgo
Hehe. And you know that Judgement Day certainly wasn't meant in any religious sense on my end. If I were a Christian, I'd have been roasted like a suckling pig long ago.

I will be posting the last bit in a bit. I promise not to warp the space-time thing-a-ma-bob, Virgo. Although something curiously time-warped haunts this dream.

Thanks for dropping by, my good man.

By the way, have you been riding your Yamaha in this bloody cold? I can barely get out of bed.

11:03 PM  
Anonymous BritBloke said...

This just gets better. I'm reading this and shaking my head, really.

10:55 PM  

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