Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Barbie-Q Dream


Sitting in broadcast booth of some 'Murican littletown looking over a sea of prefab cheapniz. In the booth next to me is a radio neocon-man with a huge head and a toothy Mormon grin. He's chuckling along with his skinny sidekick about Ken getting roasted on a Barbie Q. Station break after station break (when will it stop?) is looping the same bellicose line-up of honks, whistles, train chugs and boingy effects. Through the static hiss of empty delirium comes the station's theme scream "KXTC!! KXTC!! KXTC!!" The two guys are flicking switches and pulling off head gear---going off line. The skinny guy is mouthing me a silent but demonstrative "You're on!" "You're on!" through the glass. More sound effects start blaring and distracting me from...I haven't got a clue. I blurt into the mike "testing testing 1-2, 1-2". I know this is my big chance but everything is subverted. I'm blowing up in front of the whole world with childhood dread and a fluttering, old man's heart. I take a slow, deep breath and begin faking a head-nodding, uncontrollable drowsiness. But my heart really is going. Am I going to die while on the air? Silence.

Later a nimbus cloud from far away quickly balloons atomic---starts raining tendril-winged "seahorse shrimp" onto the tiled, soul-dead stripmall. A topless double-decker busload of tourists careens round the corner, the bus skidding over the shrimpy street and onto its side, spilling out a hoard of screamers and laughers. Everyone jumps up in unison (unhurt!) to get out of the crustacean storm.

The same toothy fat guy from the broadcast booth (now Zero Mostel) is bouncing around with his
oversized wheelbarrow "vat", his belly distended over the piles of wriggling horseshrimp. He's stopping to scoop up living, heavy heaps with his shovel, stopping after each scoop to mop his brow and blow his nose. I feel sorry for him from the bottom of my soul, thinking about how he used to be a little baby all innocent and maybe his mother was a hippo and maybe he just can't help it. Then as though reading my mind he bellows: "Barbie-Q, baby! All you can eat!"

50 Comments:

Blogger floots said...

mmmmmm
food heat and a little prawnographic introspection
just what i bin needin'
welcome back :)

8:56 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Floots
Fried up for you right on the suburban streets near the prawney river.
Would you like some "secret sauce" with that, Floots?

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anil said...

woah! what can I say finn...I'm all breathless and in need of a breather. this is a return to your roots if I can put it that way. breathtaking collection of disparate images here....enough to keep a dream-collecter go crazy at striking such rich paydirt!

9:48 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

anil
I write 'em like I remember 'em. The motley frame of day mind I've been in lately makes it sort of fitting that things are disparate and dirty. Thanks for your ululations.

10:26 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

Hey thanks for the GoLive info Finn. I'm just looking into it. Thing is I am a CSS addict, I just love writing my own, find it very relaxing for some reason. Its also just the thing for control freaks!! I am very sick!! :-)

10:59 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Grace
I'm not so minutae-inclined when it comes to coding---I find it to be the opposite of relaxing. I prefer to iron shirts with Frank Sinatra singing Cole Porter. It takes all sorts.

11:18 PM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

The man dreams! The man dreams! Marvellous. How long do you take to write these? They seem so finely crafted, like a christmas tree bauble made of damp sugar, but filled with some 'magic' brain mucus. That's how they are to me anyway - and that's a compliment.

11:28 PM  
Blogger Dr. Charles said...

i like ruksak's comment above :)
starting out with the mormon neocon set the tone well, undercut immediately by the moronic barbie-q. did that guy have a gap between his teeth?

1:33 AM  
Blogger feminine expressions said...

it's not enough that you have creative dreams but you are incredibly gifted in the retelling. what a rush...

3:00 AM  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

It sounds sadistic and empathetic too. Roast Ken!! Like you were projecting your sympathy while feeling guilty for being so gluttonous (as the broadcaster himself?). Interesting forces at work here. I especially like the pun. Excellent example of condensation.

5:13 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

RuKsAk You might have made an excellent doctor or mortician with your ability to illucidate the body's minutae. Any comment which includes "brain mucus" is taken as a raving compliment here, abso-f'ing-lutely.

Unfortunately these dreams take a bit of mining effort. They are the exact opposite of my comments, which roll out effortlessly like my tongue when I'm dreaming. Muchas gracias, hombre. благодарность

7:58 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

dr. charles
I just remember lots of big horse teeth and massive sweating head. In the end the fellow became a sort of pathetic, comic lump of insanity.

feminine expressions
Thanks, f.e. I get a rush from your comments as well, wink wink.

sirbarrett
Condensation...erm...you mean the nimbus clouds? The dream telling? The pile of horseshrimps? I'll take them all, since I'm a glutton.

8:16 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Motician? Me? No - I prefer dissection of the living.

Anyway, my latest photoblog post was inspired by a comment of yours - cheers.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Pincushion said...

Gosh I felt like a ball being bounced on a spring! A motley crew you have in there..and as always food ;)
some food for thought, eh?!

..and..waiilllll...you've abandoned me..you hardly visit me anymore :(

10:53 AM  
Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

Lost for words on the radio? Doesn't sound like you at all Finn! Maybe his mother was a hippo - Ha! Ha! Ha!

10:36 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

That was a breath of fesh air...only because yo haven't posted in awhile; it was really more a mixed up thing which started by making be wonder and ended by making me laugh.

5:45 AM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

Barbie-Q, baby! indeed! Your pen is cookin' and the visuals are smokin'.

You tell your dreams just as they are, stories from another world.

The transitions of time, colors, and half done up inventions of mankind are all written with ease and without a need to explain further. Conveying all of that in the language of the waking world takes talent and a mind that speaks both languages fluently.

Barbie-Q, baby! indeed!
This one's juicy and warrants a big bib.
Bravo, dreamy finn!

6:24 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

i was on that bus. a red double decker all the way from london. big 'n red 'n bold as dreams.
speaking of which.
damn good to have the dream king back on his throne (no not that throne, your bowel movements are your own business). that fat bloke is a worry though but at least he is offloading his prawnography onto dear old floots.

welcome back big fella!

11:11 AM  
Blogger HighMaintenanceHussy said...

hee hee...you weave an interesting tale. thanks for the link, i'll be sure to return the favor.

always a pleasure to meet a fellow ex-pat. :)

1:48 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Glad you're back. Raining shrimp--I'm batting them away! Again I find myself at the end, eyebrows furrowed with intensity and then a big exhale as if I just woke up from this dream.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Its funny you should say that about him once being a child, I often look at some of the more horrific figures in history, you know serial killers dictators people like that and wonder, if they too once inocent babies had such rough handeling that they became the monsters they are now.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

Sounds like my experiences with Christmas shopping. Good to see you drinking red wine and dreaming again!

5:31 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

ruksak
I'll be over to check out the pix as soon as I dissect some of these nice folks' comments below

pincusion
Like I said to Ruk, I'll be over to check out the pix as soon as I dissect some of these nice folks' tasty comments below.

perfect virgo
A hippocrocopig? Thanks for the virgo-esque remarks. S'good to hear your blogvoice here again. Murphy law-like, as soon as
I get a respite from all the harried hurrying, my modem goes kablooey. I'm borrowing another compooter just so I don't lose contact.

alice in wonderland or not
I didn't see the humor in it till I wrote it down. Mixed up gumbos are what most of my dreams are. The more linearly-inclined ones don't allow me to
experiment with the language, and so aren't as fun to write.

queen neetee
Wowee, what a smokin' review from the queen herself! I came home from work today feeling like a punch-drunk rubber-legged underwater sea slug. You've just made me feel like I've gulped a case of Guarana. I'm doin' the cha-cha rumba congo watusi samba geisha break dance on ice. Yeah baby, yeah! Te amo

cocaine jesus
Big and red and bold as dreams? You sure you weren't riding another sort of double decker? That's my first attempt at prawnography. You make me feel like a young Daltry in his Magic Bus days singing the Summertime Blues Live at Leeds, all Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy.

highmaintenancehussy
Links R Us. I am the missing one.

sara
Shrimps R us. Helluva paella could've been panned, don't you think?

sue hardy-dawson
We wouldn't respond so strongly to monsters if we didn't see them in ourselves. Even the Terminator is scared of 'em...and he's one of most notorious.

patry francis
Christmas shopping....now that's the ultimate nightmare. I'll take the worst nightmares 10 in-a-row over that.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Bouls said...

Oh my! Now I see why you took a break. I believe you've outdone yourself this time. It's a challenge to pick any one line out of this whole unified piece of perfection. But, those tendril-winged "seahorse shrimp" onto the tiled, soul-dead stripmall" just about blew my brain tendrils into the stratosphere. Bravo! Bravo! You need to get published. Now! Bouls

8:19 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

bouls
shucks, what can i say? if taking a break means getting my ego massaged like this, then i'm booking a round-the-world-cruise right away. I wonder if cruise ships have got high speed.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Bouls said...

If you do book up and it is high speed, make sure to zip by and see us. bouls

3:53 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

bouls
will do

6:29 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Ah, yes. Paella. Next time, bring shrimp back to waking. Stomachs rumble.

3:01 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

sara
ok, will do.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what eyes you have. what big ears you have. what big teeth you have. what a big mind you have!

7:16 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

bouls STOP IT AND STOP IT NOW!!!!
hells teeth girl.
isn't his head big enough without you pillow plumping it up to enormous sizes?
as for his ego he doesn't need that massaging either.
he is old.
very old.
i am talking positively ancient.
antique.
prehistoric.
get the picture?
all he needs massaging is his slipped disk that came from carrying around that huge and heavy head!

10:53 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

I'm going to be posting my story in a couple of days. Have you contributed your word(s) yet?

It wouldn't feel right without a word or two from you finn.

I'll keep checking my comments.

12:11 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

cocaine jesus

One should not mess with Finnegan, whose antediluvian strength is legendary. Biblical. Old Testament biblical

You got it backwards Jesus. My huge and heavy head is what needs messaging. I was chasing after a 70-year-old mademoiselle dressed in a pair of Depends® Hotpants when a damned Fribee came out of nowhere and knocked me right off my walker.

queen neetee
It's the weekend, neetee. I'm dropping by.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Pants said...

Wetdreams .. when will you get to those?

4:32 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

pants
I've had enough of those to make even Noah cringe.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

There's definately a little monster in me, yesterday it got mud on the sofa and broke a plate and then it painted a square on the table cloth exactly the same size as the picture I was painting, have you any suggestions

9:04 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

also the " turning into Zero Mostel" sort of slayed me.
For some reason I thought about this later on.

5:18 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

sue hardy-dawson
My suggestion would be to clean it up before your guardian returns.

alice: in wonderland or not
If you know about the original Zero Mostel, then you are blessed.

Funny that Hollywood and Broadway have recently dusted off "The Producers"---the Broadway musical/comedy and Hollywood film starring Z.M.
It's highly likely that he entered my dream in this guise because I watched Woody Allen's "The Front" recently.
But now that I think of it, he played Leopold Bloom in "Ulysses in Nighttown", which of course gets us back to Joyce and Ulysses and Zurich and the name of this blog. Roundabouts can be very elliptical.

7:04 AM  
Blogger _Soulless_ said...

Oh, oh, I brought a plate! I brought a humongous plate! *chuckles* (I wonder what you had for dinner before you slept and dreamt this. Heeheehee!)

Ah, I see CJ is lovingly picking on you again, hmm? Wwaaa who do I cheer for?! Muahahahaha... *scoots away to the bleachers*

^_^

3:37 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

soulless
I think I ate something that unravelled after it squeezed through my duodenum---yelling "peekaboo y'all!" then passing peristaltically before landing fishitty-floopitty-flop.
Careful of the bleacher splinters if you're wearing your short skirt, dahlink. So good to have you back in action---unsick, unstressed and happy-go-lucky!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I do know about him indeed.

thanks for the pinter lecture link. I had not read it before and it was as you stated it would be.

5:40 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

alice: in wonderland or not
Rarely have I seen or read such a devastating indictment of a country.

9:08 PM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

Mr Finn - dream me a dream for Christmas - even RuKsaK has fallen into the pit of Christmas stories.

9:05 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Mr. SaK

Funny you should mention a Christmas dream. I've got a Santa Claws nightmare from many moons ago that'll make your butthairs stand just kidding harhar...or am I?

11:03 AM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Merry Christmas

7:12 PM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

Have a Merry Merry!

11:33 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

sue hardy-dawson
Thanks, and a Hari Krishna to you!

queen neetee
The same to you Neetee!

I once had a merry Mary, which was altogether different from a Bloody Mary.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous mudbather said...

This is a Christmas treat. What a terrific writer!

2:14 PM  
Anonymous rusty said...

Thats quite an incomplete endin....Maybe that is how it was supposed to be....You start with a definite effort to have your 15 min of fame....but midway lose confidence and seek solace in disruptive distractions.....The shift of limelight from you to the fat guy is intentional....and the empathy is just a planned escape from how you feel about the whole situation. Dont mind my postmortem.....it is a little difficult for me to understand your posts.....and considerin that so many others do...as is evident from all these comments....I try to find some semblance of perspective.....thats why the attempt of post mortem .....Though I like your style of expression a lot ...more so cos I can never emulate it !!Thanks for comin by my blog and for linkin me.

3:10 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

mudbather
Ho ho ho

rusty
The idea of dreams having an "ending"; whether it's an attempt at gaining a grip or letting go...is curious. One of the many reasons I find dream-writing compelling is that it opens the doors of abstract thought and mixes (often disconcertingly) our notions of reality and concreteness. The beauty of language is that it actually provides a vehicle for this psycho-corporeal mix to be transmitted.

Very interesting connections you've noticed regarding my dream behavior. I hadn't quite viewed it that way. You've definitely flipped a switch there!

5:46 PM  

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