Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Clown Dream

A big snarly red faced wino clown is knotting balloon tubes for a pleat-skirted gang of parochial schoolgirls. He's not a real clown, but a smelly disguised hobo with bad intentions. The schoolgirls are innocent---I want to warn them---but he keeps eyeballing me suspiciously---so I'm waiting for the right moment to charge him so they can get away.

He flips the switch on his massive tricked-out ghetto blaster, its console full of dials and dancing lights. A big Merengue tambora leaps out the speakers with thumping bass and the wino clown ups his pace, now assembling an astonishing array of rubbery dogs, cats, horses, bunnies---I'm entranced by the candy-colored zoo multiplying around his feet---his head bopping and fingers flying---the girls screaming 20! 30! 40! 50! Suddenly he flips off the blaster switch, pulls off his wino face, wig and his billowy clown togs, revealing a splendid dapper-dandy. A real magician.

I'm stunned. He's had me completely fooled. Harharhar! He's pointing at me and honking a giant bicycle horn going harharhar HONK HONK! The parochial girls join in the big heehaw---are they his floozies? I'm disgraced, muttering confused apologies to the magical hobo clown and to the girls for having wrongly accused him. They're circling me now, and so I curl up into a fetal ball, his goose horn honking something wet and sticky over me.


Blogger Perfect Virgo said...

Deep one this Finn. I think the clown may be double-bluffing. Your first instincts might be right, they almost always are. A dapper gent would hide his tendencies in a disuise. The bicycle horn is a fantastic metaphor, focusing the blame on you by loudly drawing attention to you. The clown reveals his true colours in the end with the sticky gift from his horn. You were right all along of course.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Did you wake up to find you'd spilled your porridge?

9:12 PM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

That was sordid, filthy and all about being an adult for me. We tend to trust clowns less as we get older - for some reason, unlike in my youth, I see being a clown as one of the seediest professions going. I consider prostitution much nobler even. I'm I screwed up, all of humankind, or your dreams are driving me to this?
I just don't know and it's 5.54am -need to ponder this, yet again, excellent entry.

10:55 PM  
Blogger floots said...

i don't like (or trust) clowns
i think
if you dream about schoolgirls and clowns
when you wake up your sheet will be krusty
(so maybe this dream will come true)

11:36 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

No realy did you wake up and find you'd spilled your breakfast cerial-remember I have to rely on what I can spell legibely

12:25 AM  
Blogger . : A : . said...

Very vivid. I see this as very colourful

3:17 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

A colorful humiliation.

I know several people who are horrified bbby clowns.
I am rather horrifed by magicians myself.

In retrospect more as a colorful mightmare.

4:51 AM  
Blogger transience said...

goodness, finn, you amaze me. i had nightmares about clowns when i was younger. i hated them with a vengeance. especially when they moved.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous rusty said...

Another unusual piece.....where do u get these ideas ?

4:15 PM  
Blogger gulnaz said...

clowns are rarely funny, either tragic or else pathetic or downright irritating...never enjoyed them even as kids.
men in mask amusing girls, always cause for concern...i think you were rightly concerned. the humiliation is interesting.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

what terrible anxiety. nothing is like you thought. dinge under the color that was creepy to begin with. a very Twin Peaks holiday in a dream. and that photo--i hope i never see that shadow anywhere near me, ever. until i feel like being freaked out.

8:56 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Perfect Virgo
Double bluffing. I like the way that sounds Virgo---like straddling two cliffs before jumping.

The giveaway (which I neglected to include in the dream!) was red carnation that appeared on the
lapels of both the clown and gent, which in retrospect serves as a sort of mcguffin.

Sue Hardy-Dawson
Actually I spilled my porridge to find that I'd woken. Please read that carefully.

What about a prostitute clown? I think s/he would be an interesting "type" for you to flesh out
in a story. The seedy marriage would be a whole new slant on transvestitism. (Is that a word?)

And thanks for the pre-dawn gloss. Now get back in your SaK and ponder the Crusty while I go
meet with the Floot man.

Yeah, what's up with the schoolgirl/clown pairing anyway? I'm still agitated by that one, albeit
not to the level Sue Laurel and Hardy-Dawson suggests. ( :-P)

Sue Hardy-Again-Dawson
You seem to have got up even earlier than Ruksak, hehe.

Vivid? Colorful? You mean Lurid?

Alice: In Wonderland or Not
Again, I think the adjective here would be lurid. "Colorful" would be the circus and balloons. Mix in a
sinister bozo and you get a more billious-acidic assortment of hues.

Have you ever made love to a clown wearing only stilettos? I mean you, not the clown. On second thought, I did mention something to RuKsaK about a transvestite pagliaccio. Maybe I'm on to something here.

I get these ideas from Krusty's Pizza. By the way, your name....

There are many sorts of clowns. I'm fascinated by all of them. Kurosawa, Fellini, Buster Keaton, The Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy and others opened my mind to the complexity of "clownhood".

I think the sort of clown that's anathema to everyone here is the classic "circus bozo" with the red nose---the same sort that honked in my dream.

Here's a Wikipedia page on clowns you might find fascinating: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clown

Twin Peaks. Now you're talking! I sit up straight whenever I hear those two words together.
That photo looks like the shadow of an alien court jester.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anil said...

Interesting that you bring up Kurosawa under a discussion of clowns....do you think he was clowning through his films/charecters? Not if you consider Ikiru...although one could think of Toshiro Mifune as a person constanly making fun of him through his characters....somehow I've never warmed to Mifune...always felt he hammed a bit too much...but then I'm no film critic...so my opinion might be amateurish...

But coming to the dream some memorable images here...'candy colored zoos'....'his goose horn honking something wet and sticky over me.' your dreams are veritable repositories of what I'd term insane psychedelia!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Pincushion said...

Its very strange, but clowns have always accentuated misery for me! As if behind their (forced)laughter lay mountains of pain..behind the garish exterior lay..a knowlege of imperfections..as if they were mocking themselves...
but then thats just me, I guess...

6:45 PM  
Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson said...

No it's just that while I'm fond of porridge I prefer it in a bowl

8:22 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Interesting that you bring up Kurosawa under a discussion of clowns....do you think he was clowning through his films/charecters?
Mifune is certainly plays the clown in 7 Samurai (especially with the village children) and he does so to varying degrees in his other ronin roles. And yes, Kurosawa certainly did clown through Mifune, who was his alter ego.

I assume you've only seen his samurai roles if you think of him as having hammed a bit much. Have you seen Red Beard, Throne of Blood or Stray Dog? Here's a very interesting site which might shed more light: http://www.sprout.org/toshiro/index.html

Insane psychedelia is becoming the "real" world I'm afraid.

Yes, the tragic/sad clown is definitely an archetype. There have been books and songs written...

Sue Hardy-Dawson
Yes, and "just right" like the baby bear.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anil said...

I've only seen Throne of Blood among the three...I've to say I liked Mifune the most in Rashomon...I've heard that he was very good in Yojimbo...and will be seeing it soon...but I want to see Red Beard and Straw Dogs too...

..and thanks for the link...it gave me a much needed alternate perspective...

12:55 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

clowns are damn spooky. never have liked them. when thumbscrew (my eldest 22( was about ten i tried reading her the Steven King book with a clown in it. (think the book was called IT. frightened the pair of us.
not as scary as this WV though.

4:42 PM  
Blogger karma said...

yea, i am scared of clowns too. you never know when they are serious

4:45 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Thanks for you input and thoughts Anil. You are one of the more thoughtful contributors whose comments I always look forward to. Glad the link gave you more insight into an actor I find unique.

cocaine jesus
Never read "It", or whatever the King book is titled. I've only read "The Shining" out of all his titles.

Perhaps his next one will be a a porn horror entitled: JZLLUX which I'd gladly read

With all you good people dissing clowns
I guess it's time I considered a change
of careers.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Dr. Charles said...

i'm so scared of clowns, and i don't trust the new dapper dandy bastard either!
so scary!

6:23 PM  
Blogger rhein said...

yeah, clowns freak me out too.

2:26 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

What if one of your patients were a clown, walking in your office in full clown regalia?

This entry is starting to look like an anti-clown posse. I'm glad I've got my word verification turned on.

7:52 AM  
Blogger stella said...

there does seem to be something about clowns that creep people out. not sure what it is exactly, but it's there. a small hidden fear in our psyche.

otherwise, this is a powerful post. it hit upon so many things.

7:50 PM  
Blogger gulnaz said...

i had meant the bozo kind...thanks for the link :)

9:06 PM  
Blogger sCruuw said...

Freaky kinda nightmare!

5:48 AM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

Yes, there's clearly something terrifying about clowns, and clowns with treacherous parochial school girls...no wonder you were sent into a fetal ball. But apparently to no avail. When are you going to start filming these things?

6:11 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

My only up close experience with a clown was in elementary school. The guy's breath was so foul I nearly upchucked my cafeteria goodies.
I agree with your point about that hidden fear in our psyche---but why?? Is it the mask itself? The thing whose sole function is to obscure?
Maybe it's the combination of hysteria and the often yellowish teeth framed in greasy red lips which makes us step back.

Yes, I thought so. :-P

yes it was indeed.

patry francis
Yes the plaided parochial skirted girls were the same mean-streaked teasers I had to endure on my way home. Gangs of them wearing bobby socks and two-tones. The little wenches became a gang of dominas with the clown as ring leader. Now that I think of it, I felt awfully small and helpless in this dream.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

who in the world invented clown makeup anyways!! what child or person finds that funny?...i mean.. even kids get scared now seeing clowns..

reminded me of Stephen King's books.. EVIL i tell you.. EVIL!!
my heart is beating quite fast now..

9:27 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

He's definitely not a good recommend for a future husband. Anyway, there are enough evil clowns out there already. You are the second one here mentioning Stephen King by the way.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Extempore said...

You took me back to being 7 once again when this clown/magician type of guy at a birthday party. I was scared witless of him to begin with but when he pulled something from my ear, I howled and everyone else laughed, which made me even more scared and embarrassed. Among my most vivd childhood memories.

p.s. I watched Seven Samurai a few weekends ago; I agree with Anil about Toshiro Mifune hamming like mad but agree even more with your analysis of Mifune in Seven Samurai. :)

3:45 PM  
Blogger . : A : . said...

A bit of both actually.


4:49 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

You might have hit on something revealing with your remark about the clown humiliating you in front of a crowd. My own recoiling is in effect the same raw deal. I'm glad I touched an old nerve. :-)

Re: Mifune, you might like to see what he was capable of in other roles besides 7 Samurai:

Wink wink

4:46 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

of course there is the other side of the clown. the sad, pathetic side as portrayed by James Stewart in 'The Greatest Show on Earth'.

i used to dress up as a clown in our local festival. there must be children now grown up with some serious mental issues out there because of me!

10:06 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Absolutely. That film completely slipped my mind, C.J.
I was wondering when you were going to own up about your having clowned around.

Pssst. I promise not to mention anything about the flashing.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Queen Neetee said...

The vision of a clown coupled with the sound of him furiously twisting balloons into animals would be enough to make me mad. However, I cannot imagine the helpless fear with which you must have awakened with after having envisioned the whole of that nightmare.

I must say, other than being impressed by your adeptness of transferring your nightmares into words that keep the fear alive, reading the comments and your responses is priceless. What a quick mind you have.

5:06 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Queen Neetee
Notice the deft spelling of your regal name....ahem.

Good to see you've returned from tending your succulent oasis. Did they give you hell for having neglected them? Tell 'em you're the Queen and want no sass! Succulents are usually very low-maintenance, but when they decide to protest they become surly and cantankerous. It's nothing they do in the way of appearances, but rather in the insideous manner in which they enter your mind; mimicking the most mundane sounds and ideas ad nauseum. You know those asinine songs you can never get out of your head...?

Thanks for the kind words, Queen! Your most humble and loyal servant (since 2005).

12:39 PM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

finn>>>the flashing is an aspect of me that should remain our secret. i wouldn't want any of my blogging buddies to know about my other activies.
i know that i can trust you.

7:52 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

I promise not to...*burp*...tell,.C.J. Real...*burp*...really.

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hurry hurry hurry! Clowns! Bunnies! Magicians! Winos! Fetuses! Hurry hurry hurry!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

Ending's very... Freudian...

12:48 AM  
Blogger finnegan said...

I'm on my way to pick up my mask.

I knew it as soon as I wrote it down. Pretty surprising that nobody picked that up, or
at least mentioned it.

At least I took cover. Cocaine Jesus would have started an orgy with the lot.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

With you and Queenie and Trans And Floots EVERY post is an orgy!

12:32 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Cocaine Jesus
I do it just for "Your Horniness".

Now let me find out what you've written---my Blogarithm has notified me that you've posted something really naughty.

6:59 PM  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

LOL This was wonderful torture! You know you deserved the honking though right? You have to watch out for those dirty clowns stealing all the schoolgirls with their balloons but sometimes you can never be sure who's behind the mask.

5:26 PM  

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