Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Friday, February 25, 2005

Ignatz Dream

Trying to find some word in my beatup old thesaurus but odd words listed and I can't decipher them except for a page headed 'Cyrillic' in big letters and so 'This is where the Russians are' and sure enough I find Dostoyevsky heading and realize I've found something unknown about his writing and that this surely is the Rosetta Stone of his mind---revolutionary and wilder than the world has ever known. 'Gogol' jumps out in Roman scripts among the Cyrillic jumble and I realize he's part of this inner circle, but no Gorki, No Tolstoy.

Our cat Ignatz has grown much larger---like a lynx and not tabby. What's happened to her eyes? They seem oddly misshapen. One of them looks at me directly but the other seems slack and wandering. She gives off a low growl and suddenly I realize this isn't sweet little Ignatz but some wild animal that somehow got into the house...and so where's Ignatz? As the seriousness dawns on me---she knows---and quickly grabs my forearm in her jaws, not breaking my skin, but no monkey business-like. Everything quite still and she's looking at me clearly with both eyes like lasers and I know by their look that she's reading my mind---'You'd better be cool here or you will be eaten. She' somehow morphed larger while holding me and now presses me back until I'm supine and realize from her look that she's in heat but I'm mortified thinking now that she'll devour me if I don't get an erection and fuck her. But somehow she doesn't persist springs back and slides off the bed pulling the comforter with her and now she's out of view. I'm terrified that she's only waiting for me to get up so that she can attack. I instinctively grab the lamp for protection. It has a dimmer slide and I turn it all the way up and the beast crouching low, half slithers out of the room like a snake but much faster. In a panic I up and quickly shut the door and as I do she's suddenly there again but her head gets caught and I'm pushing on it as hard as possible and can hear her skull cracking. Cécile is screaming on the other side of the door but I can't understand and keep the pressure. Then I hear 'Oh God!' 'Oh God!' and let go of the door and she's hysterical and now I realize that it's Ignatz...I wake instantly and she's right there sleeping next to me in the same bed and I almost had sex with her.


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