Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

January 10, 2005


Trying to purchase a house with a total stranger who'd ridden up to the 2-story fixer on a '65 Triumph motorcycle. He goes around casing the place and letting me know what needs to be done one thing thing after another; I'm overwhelmed and feeling unsure about the strange smell 'like rotting timbers' I say, but he reassures me that the lady selling is giving too good a deal to pass up and all she wants is for us to let her stay in the house out back way down the hill and so I ask to see the house and it's half way down a steep cliff incredibly steep and my stomach drops--I ask him how this old woman can negotiate such a climb and descent--he tells me it's really his mother and she's actually much younger than she looks and now she's right behind us and listening in and I look at her up close and try not to let her know I'm looking so closely at her hair which is a straw-like rat-nest and now I see it's a wig half falling off and her third set of teeth are clicking as she's talking gibberish and now half out of her mouth and she adjusts them and looks at me all of a sudden and asks: 'What are you lookin' at?' and I pretend nothing and don't answer and she tells the motorcycle guy something in his ear and says she's 'Goin' out back now' and sprints to the cliff edge and jumps and my heart pumps furiously and I'm sick inside and she just returns backwards from the same sequence and Mr. Triumph has a remote and he's making her foward and rewind and cracking up--

Inside the same house but with Ty now and he's asking me where Karin is--I say I have no idea--he slumps down and takes out his alto sax from its case and starts assembling it--there are too many parts and it's much too big for an alto much more like a baritone and he begins playing something so sad and beautiful and my tears start flowing and I feel heartbroken because I somehow know his mother has gone and I don't know how to tell him.

Another woman appears while I'm cleaning the kitchen cupboards with Simple Green--much too strong and potent--she says good thing that fake proprietor and her sick son have left that they're now both in prison for life without parole and this new proprietor looks a lot like Elena and yet her voice is like a very young girl. She's not Elena and I ask her if she knows an Elena from Ventura and she says never heard of her--She tells me that there's allergenic crap all over this house and if I clean it out I can have it for free. I'm wondering what she means by allergenic and ask her, she says it's minor stuff and I'd be doing a service to humanity if I cleaned things. Ok I say and go back to cleaning.

Ty is gone and I'm looking around for him and the house goes from one room to the next and I'm at the back now near the cliff and notice the floor is pitched sloping downward towards the edge and it starts slipping and down I go. I bounce off a thick shrub and it's like rubber. I'm ascending now and turn my body to look back at the house which is unbelievably huge. A lot of blackbirds are on the roof and some are circling about like vultures and I'm floating backwards further and further away and closer to the water now.

I'm water-skiing backwards in my shoes--total control--my arms behind and holding an exercise rubber band and every few seconds I get catapulted quickly and lift off the water. Then it stops all of a sudden and I'm way out at sea and the sun is near the horizon and the water feels incredibly cold and dark-- something is bumping me under the water and I'm in a panic and begin to swim frantically away but it keeps following and sliding up against my leg.

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