Waking Finnegan

“We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our whole life is rounded with a sleep” ~ Shakespeare

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Location: zurich, Switzerland

Saturday, December 25, 2004

December 25, 2004

In the shower, curtain is made out of dense cloth like movie drapes but somehow I can see through it faintly. I can hear someone is in the bathroom and I realize it's not Cécile but somebody else because I can see a tiny edge of mirror reflecting--him. I'm not sure if he's seen me and with my hand behind slowly try turning the shower off and but I turn it the wrong way and it gets scalding hot but somehow the water doesn't--then it comes with a rush and I scream out and grab the curtains and it all unhooks in a heap and I'm tangled and can't get up and so crawl under to hide and think oh shit he can stab me through this curtain but nothing so I try finding an opening and can't...get...out. I feel the cold tiles with my feet but everything is wet and I try standing and keep slipping and falling down with the bunched bolt of curtain. Then the man's hand grabs my arm forcefully and I'm petrified because of his strength and then I'm being picked up and it's fucking hot in the bathroom--too much steam and I can't breathe "Please let me out I can't breathe I'm suffocating!" I seem to be 20 feet in the air now. No roof on the bathroom it seems and then I realize I'm up against the inside of a domed skylight all scrunched with the curtain my neck is stiff and...there's a latch and I flick it and the dome pops up and I climb out on the roof of my old house on Griffith Park Blvd. I can see old Chuey next door clipping the bordering hedge. He's playing some ethereally beautiful old Mexican song on his record player. He gestures with his hand cupped over his ear to listen---I'm under the blanket--the guitar and singing make me so deeply sad that I can't keep from crying, and it gets deeper and more achingly beautiful. I don't know the song. I'm trying to remember but I can't.


Blogger aangirfan said...

Wow! Not read any blog like this before.

11:51 AM  

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